The holiday season is a lovely time to be around people. But when the house is a mess, it’s easy to hide inside and avoid inviting guests over (or hesitate to do so).

The truth is, people who visit you are there to see you, not your mess. If you feel like you’re being judged, unless the words are actually spoken, it’s just your wild imagination using a large amount of energy to create negative thoughts about an insecurity. All of which are false and are intended to keep you safe from harm. Instead, use your energy to create positive thoughts. After all, you don’t know what others are thinking, so why waste energy guessing?

On the other hand, if someone comes over and does pass judgement by voicing their opinion about your messy home, see the words for what they are (simple words), accept the emotion you feel, and let them both pass by like a car on the road.

Their judgement isn’t a reflection of you or your efforts. It’s simply a reflection of their own inner pain. A pain that we all have – some stronger than others. As hard as it can be, see their judgement as an opportunity to strengthen your love and compassion for other people.

Lastly, if you find yourself scrambling to tidy-up before someone does come over, one thing to be mindful of is shoving things in random cabinets or closets. If you can’t make time to put something away in the proper place, just let it be.

When we quickly stash things in the wrong place, like our bedroom or in the garage or basement where nobody will see it, the problem with clutter only gets worse.

It’s one thing if you’re shoving things in random places out of comfort for others (so others can sit down comfortably).

But it’s another thing if you’re simply hiding things away due to a fear of judgement or feelings of shame. If this is the case, isn’t your own self-care more important than others’ opinions about you?

Remember, YOU are worthy and YOU are important!

If you’re hiding inside your messy home, I challenge you to invite someone over for a cup of tea and try the above suggestions. Our hearts tend to open over tea and beautiful things happen when we step outside our comfort zones!

Sending you lots of love,

About Alejandra

About Alejandra

Since 2008, organizing expert & certified life coach, Alejandra Costello has taught thousands of students in 132 countries how to get organized through her video-based training programs. Her YouTube videos have been viewed 100+ million times. Named 1 of the 5 most organized people in America by HGTV and “The Decluttering Queen” by Good Morning America, Alejandra’s expertise has been featured in The New York Times,, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, Good Housekeeping, Family Circle, Woman’s Day, Parents Magazine, and CBS. 


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